For the past nearly 18 months since beginning this adoption process, I’ve felt like my system has operated in one of two modes; flight or fight or mental exhaustion. Sometimes I’m in a mode for weeks on end and sometimes only for a day. But I constantly vacillate between the two. There seldom seems to be a gray area.
This adoption has been a rollercoaster with far more valleys than peaks. Mind you, I may just feel like this at present because I’m worn down, but this is my reality—today.
As mentioned in my previous post, we received an email last week notifying us of an earlier court date. Tuesday of this week we received our new tentative travel dates of April 18 to 25, which had us traveling one week earlier than our originally assigned tentative travel dates. Notice I say, “Had us traveling.” We received a disheartening email today from AWAA announcing changes being implemented in the coming two weeks by the Consulate in Ethiopia. AWAA isn’t exactly certain how this will ultimately affect families currently waiting to travel, but their initial statement is that we will be delayed from one to three weeks. To say I’m disappointed is an understatement. And I'm realistic. I've learned over the past nearly 18 months that things seldom swing toward the positive in this odyssey, but rather toward the worst-case-scenario. That's why I was SO delighted to receive an expedited court date. It seems things like that almost NEVER happen.
I know in the grand scheme of things this is not a major setback. There are families who have been waiting six months to travel due to problems with their in-country paperwork. There have been families in the past whose children did not make it home because they succumbed to illness. Families were stuck in limbo for months last fall because of Ethiopia’s court closure. There are families whose children have been extremely ill upon arrival in the US and ended up in the hospital several times. Every family who has ever gone through an adoption has experienced a myriad of setbacks. It’s the nature of the beast. But this is still a BIG DEAL to me. I've been literally counting the days until court, and literally counting the days until our TTD's. And now, I have no idea where we stand. It's just a kick in the stomach. And you know what, it's okay to feel the pain. Things aren't always, "alright", "fabulous", "wonderful", "great", etc., etc., etc. Sometimes things are just crappy. And this setback is C-R-A-P-P-Y. I know. I know. I know. I'm whining. There are elements of these new policies and procedures that benefit us and our children and it's only a matter of weeks. But it's still difficult to bear. I'm fearful there are some people who will read this post and be upset with me for grumbling. But you know what...I'm human. I am not perfect. I am fraught with human frailties.
But I hold out hope of the day I will finally hold Jackson in my arms and look into his big brown eyes.
Psalm 55:1-2; 16-18
1 Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea; 2 hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught ...
16 But I call to God, and the LORD saves me. 17 Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. 18 He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me.
Please, God! Don’t delay not one more day than absolutely necessary. I know you are sovereign over all things. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Please, Lord, listen to my prayer. Bring this child home!
This adoption has been a rollercoaster with far more valleys than peaks. Mind you, I may just feel like this at present because I’m worn down, but this is my reality—today.
As mentioned in my previous post, we received an email last week notifying us of an earlier court date. Tuesday of this week we received our new tentative travel dates of April 18 to 25, which had us traveling one week earlier than our originally assigned tentative travel dates. Notice I say, “Had us traveling.” We received a disheartening email today from AWAA announcing changes being implemented in the coming two weeks by the Consulate in Ethiopia. AWAA isn’t exactly certain how this will ultimately affect families currently waiting to travel, but their initial statement is that we will be delayed from one to three weeks. To say I’m disappointed is an understatement. And I'm realistic. I've learned over the past nearly 18 months that things seldom swing toward the positive in this odyssey, but rather toward the worst-case-scenario. That's why I was SO delighted to receive an expedited court date. It seems things like that almost NEVER happen.
I know in the grand scheme of things this is not a major setback. There are families who have been waiting six months to travel due to problems with their in-country paperwork. There have been families in the past whose children did not make it home because they succumbed to illness. Families were stuck in limbo for months last fall because of Ethiopia’s court closure. There are families whose children have been extremely ill upon arrival in the US and ended up in the hospital several times. Every family who has ever gone through an adoption has experienced a myriad of setbacks. It’s the nature of the beast. But this is still a BIG DEAL to me. I've been literally counting the days until court, and literally counting the days until our TTD's. And now, I have no idea where we stand. It's just a kick in the stomach. And you know what, it's okay to feel the pain. Things aren't always, "alright", "fabulous", "wonderful", "great", etc., etc., etc. Sometimes things are just crappy. And this setback is C-R-A-P-P-Y. I know. I know. I know. I'm whining. There are elements of these new policies and procedures that benefit us and our children and it's only a matter of weeks. But it's still difficult to bear. I'm fearful there are some people who will read this post and be upset with me for grumbling. But you know what...I'm human. I am not perfect. I am fraught with human frailties.
But I hold out hope of the day I will finally hold Jackson in my arms and look into his big brown eyes.
Psalm 55:1-2; 16-18
1 Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea; 2 hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught ...
16 But I call to God, and the LORD saves me. 17 Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. 18 He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me.
Please, God! Don’t delay not one more day than absolutely necessary. I know you are sovereign over all things. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Please, Lord, listen to my prayer. Bring this child home!
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