Purpose

Do you ever wonder what your purpose is in life? If do. I find myself pondering that question a lot. I always have. For many years I sat, spinning my wheels, knowing there was a greater purpose for me than whatever it was I was doing.

That changed in my early thirties when I was called into an intimate love relationship with Jesus Christ. From that point forward I stopped searching and started knowing. Knowing I was part of a much bigger picture. Knowing I was forgiven and loved despite a lifetime overflowing with mistakes. Knowing there was (the ultimate) someone (GOD) who wanted much greater things for me than I had ever given myself or even dreamt of pursuing. But my life’s quest didn’t end there. I wasn’t “complete” and I knew it.

For years I've prayed for God to use me in some way—any way. In the beginning, in my new “born again” state, I felt like a player suited up for a game, sitting on the sidelines chomping at the bit, waiting for the coach to put me in the game. Initially I felt as if my unanswered prayers were falling on deaf ears, but undeterred I've continued to pray this same prayer nearly every day over the years. At first I didn't understand why God wasn’t calling me to some greater purpose. I wasn’t frustrated by this. I merely didn’t get why he wasn’t utilizing me. But in fast-forwarding a decade and a half to the present I now understand why God didn’t put me “in the game”. Simply put, I wasn’t ready to play. I had so much training and conditioning to do. Calling me into service back then would’ve been the equivalent of sending a baby to the Whitehouse to serve as President of the United States. I had so much to learn. And still do.

The layers are slowly being peeled away and I can feel the work God is doing in my life. I still haven’t been called into action, but I know in my heart that God is putting a plan together for me. I can feel it. After some great prayer time early this morning I asked my husband where he saw himself in five years. His first answer was, “My eyes aren’t even open yet, Bob.” However, trouper that he is, after a minute or so he gave me his answer. It was a very practical and honest answer—out of debt, still in business for ourselves but headed down a different avenue with a more streamlined approach to business. I appreciate his candor but I see greater things in store for him than that and that’s saying something. My husband is a dreamer of big dreams. That’s one of the (many) things I’ve always loved about him. He has never put parameters around his life goals. I know God has wondrous things in store for him. I see them unfolding every day and it’s a beautiful sight to behold.

I’m not sure where I see myself in the coming years. I’m feeling a possible pull toward the mission field. After our trip to Ethiopia last year I could definitely see myself immersed in mission work. I can honestly say that at nearly 46 years of age I have absolutely no attachment to any material object. Not our house. Not the clothing on my back. Just God and my family. Of course I relish the comforts of life. I think we have the most comfortable bed in the world. And a hot shower? Few things in life are better. Oh, and clean water? After traveling to Ethiopia I have an entirely new appreciation for water. But could I leave it all behind? I think so. Until then though, I’m going to sit here on the sidelines in my uniform and helmet, waiting for the coach’s signal. Rest assured though that when he gives me the nod, I’ll be ready. After all, I’ve been trained and conditioned by the best.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.