Epiphany #2

I have a very specific routine I follow when putting Jackson down for a nap or bedtime. Our routine culminates with us sitting in a chair in the corner of his room. He straddles my lap and faces me. Oftentimes he is so spent from activity that he immediately puts his head on my shoulder and nods off to sleep within a minute or two. He does, however, on occasion fight sleep by clapping his hands, making faces at me and in the mirror behind us or tugging my hair while intermittently resting his head on my shoulder, fighting to keep his eyes open. It is this last action that is so special to me. As Jackson’s head rests on my shoulder we look into each others eyes. His lids are heavy and it is hard for him to keep his eyes open, yet we lock eyes and gaze deeply into each others' hearts.

As much as I look forward to the days when Jackson is a little more able-bodied and independent, I dread the time when he will no longer want to or be able to physically fall asleep in my lap because he has reached big-boy status. These ten minutes we share (a maximum of five minutes per nap/bedtime are all is takes) are the most special, cherished moments of my day. It is special ten-minute soul- connection that I experience at no other time of the day. We are as close as two individuals can possibly be for these few moments.

This afternoon, as we were going through our naptime routine, it dawned on me that God probably feels like this about us—His children. Although we are independent adults, God never wants us to become so self-sufficient that we no longer need Him. He wants us to be healthy, functioning individuals; however, he still wants us to be dependent upon him. He wants the same closeness and intimacy—this same soul-connection—that I share with Jackson.

1 Chronicles 16:11

Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.